The Chaos of Balance–Kenneth Kao

A man searching for a balanced life has many stories.

Looking Forward


Got to hang out with some “kids” that I used to work with when I was 21.  They were in high school and I was a college mentor to them of sorts.  I fell in love with them and gave them my everything.  Now, I’m 28(29 in 16.5 days) and they are 24-ish—it’s hard to believe.

My kids are adults.  They are my peers.

I know, all “old people” talk about how age happens, how people move through time, how they miss the good-old-days.  They live in the past and think fondly of their memories as if they are still real.

Well, I’m happy to report that I’ve successfully refused to be that “old guy” anymore.  I’ve held on long enough, and it’s taken me years to get over how much I love these “kids”.  I don’t think I’ll ever be over them, not really, and even if it feels like heartbreak though nothing was truly severed but space and time—people just have to move on.

I made that choice to move on like 5 years ago.  And it’s finally done.

Seeing them again reminded me how much I love them, but also how they have lives of their own and futures that are big and bright and exciting.  But here’s the thing: I have new relationships of my own and just as exciting things ahead of me.  And maybe, hopefully, these friends of mine will come back into my life again, but until then it’s just me now, and those around me now.

It feels good to say this, to be able to say this with sincerity rather than regret.  I think I must have grown up a little.

Anyway, looking forward, and sending appreciation to those who helped shape who I am today.




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This entry was posted on August 14, 2012 by in Personal Thoughts and tagged , , , , .
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